The Book of Hims

I’m the mad scientist and created Frankenstein! I put that nose on her! I put those breasts on her!

I have a passion for it, I love running out there and being close to the action. I like the pressure, now I am all over the field. I just have to be careful at times to get out of a player’s way.

Before I socked him, he thought I was a weenie, then he found out I was Tyson.

I always wanted to be little, but it didn’t turn out that way. Because I was always told that the little guys get the girls…I’m trying to prove that wrong.

If you say something that makes sense… if I make a mistake and you correct me, I’m O.K. But if I mess up, don’t yell, What the f— are you doing? Because I’ll yell, I’m going the wrong way, that’s what the f— I’m doing!

The whole idea is a value exchange. Okay we are giving you an education, room and board, and you’re coming out here playing football. So then the kids say, well damn, look how much money you make on the football.

Spending time with the kids; Then they said, Daddy, we need some more money.

I’m still a player. I still can move. I still got youth in my legs

I love this new role that I get to be a purse holder on reality television.

I was down the hallway doing back flips just a minute ago If you up that signing bonus again, I’ll do it again.